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Monday, July 28, 2008

This year's hot stove heater

That's what they call it in the baseball world, anyway: all the off-season occurrences that keep us football people warm while we wait for the six-week layoff to end. Any day now, lads and ladies, any day now....

In the meantime, TDH has some trenchant observations to share:

1. $38 million for Robbie Keane? Are you mad? He's 28 years old, and you're paying the same for him as you did for El Niño. It's madness! Pure madness! At this rate, Kiki Ron's transfer fee could bail out Fannie Mae!

2. Why are our Magpies sticking by Joey Barton? He beat a teammate until the poor guy lost consciousness. He shouldn't be in football. Forget "he's paid his debt to society," Keegle, the boy is not worth the trouble. TDH is also somewhat worried about our slothfulness in the transfer market, though Argentine compañeros insist that Gutiérrez is the real deal.

3. The Olympic soccer tournament is completely ridiculous. It should be dumped in favor of an U23 World Cup. Then we can forget about all this Messi business and these bizarre hybrid teams. Yeah, I hate to throw FIFA a bone as much as anyone, but this Olympic business is ludicrous. And yeah, TDH will be watching every minute of it.

4. JOZY ALTIDORE IS A VILLAREAL PLAYER! Fantastic news for US Soccer. Oh, what emotion for TDH upon watching the YouTube video of Altidore's presentation to the crowd. Unless TDH is wrong, Altidore is the first American in the modern Primera Liga. The fans of the Submarino Amarillo went wild for the American striker, and TDH is hoping that he and Adu (now on loan to Monaco) will be the national team's go-to combo for many years to come.

By the way, apologies for TDH's long absence, but TDH just had a hard time maintaining enthusiasm at the end of the last Premier League season. Manure winning the Champions League as Terry lost his chance at history didn't help. And Euro 2008, well, yes, TDH had plenty to say about it, but it's all been said already. Okay?