"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard."
A single page of the Ireland manager's application has come into TDH's possession, thanks to TDH's worldwide network of informers. Here it is, for your perusal and use:
THE FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION OF IRELAND
(If you want Gaelic football, they're two doors down on the left.)
(Oh, and say hello to Liam for me.)
Application for the position of: Manager, Men's Senior Squad
SECTION A (QUALIFICATIONS)
Please answer the following multiple choice questions.
1. The trait that most qualifies me for this job is:
a. football knowledge
b. drinking ability
c. boyish good looks
d. fatalism
2. I'm applying for this job because:
a. I dream of leading Ireland to glory.
b. I was fired by Hearts.
c. I think Damien Duff is cute. Hi Damien! Love you!
d. My mum said to get my own place, and I couldn't get a job at O'Neills.
3. My native language is:
a. English
b. Scottish
c. Broken English
d. Portuguese
IF YOU ANSWERED "d" THEN SKIP TO
SECTION C (SALARY REQUIREMENTS)
4. I think Roy Keane is:
a. still a top quality footballer
b. a lost, lonely soul who just needs some tender, loving care
c. a post-pop piano band
d. also applying for this job
5. The first step towards success in Euro 2008 is:
a. giving more experience to our young players
b. an exorcism
c. a trip down to Paddy Power
d. did you know Robinho's real name is Robson?
---
TDH is looking forward more and more to Barcelona's involvement in Major League Soccer. Barca's technical secretary, Txiki Begiristain, already has experience in the American entertainment industry. For a couple years in the late 1980's, he represented several boy bands under the name Mel "Cheeky" Bergstein....
---
Cheeky has had a busy couple of days, which included barring Samuel Eto'o from becoming the world's highest-paid athlete. Eto'o had attracted interest from Al-Ittihad, the team from Saudi Arabia that pulled off one of football's biggest-ever upsets by reversing a 3-1 deficit in the 2004 Asian Champions League final with a 5-0 away victory. They wanted to pay him 3.5 million pounds for a 10-day loan.
So let's say Eto'o managed to play for 200 days out of the year at that rate. That's a cool 70 million pounds - no problem for an oil sheikh, perhaps, but still far more than even Alex Rodriguez makes.
(If you want Gaelic football, they're two doors down on the left.)
(Oh, and say hello to Liam for me.)
Application for the position of: Manager, Men's Senior Squad
SECTION A (QUALIFICATIONS)
Please answer the following multiple choice questions.
1. The trait that most qualifies me for this job is:
a. football knowledge
b. drinking ability
c. boyish good looks
d. fatalism
2. I'm applying for this job because:
a. I dream of leading Ireland to glory.
b. I was fired by Hearts.
c. I think Damien Duff is cute. Hi Damien! Love you!
d. My mum said to get my own place, and I couldn't get a job at O'Neills.
3. My native language is:
a. English
b. Scottish
c. Broken English
d. Portuguese
IF YOU ANSWERED "d" THEN SKIP TO
SECTION C (SALARY REQUIREMENTS)
4. I think Roy Keane is:
a. still a top quality footballer
b. a lost, lonely soul who just needs some tender, loving care
c. a post-pop piano band
d. also applying for this job
5. The first step towards success in Euro 2008 is:
a. giving more experience to our young players
b. an exorcism
c. a trip down to Paddy Power
d. did you know Robinho's real name is Robson?
---
TDH is looking forward more and more to Barcelona's involvement in Major League Soccer. Barca's technical secretary, Txiki Begiristain, already has experience in the American entertainment industry. For a couple years in the late 1980's, he represented several boy bands under the name Mel "Cheeky" Bergstein....
---
Cheeky has had a busy couple of days, which included barring Samuel Eto'o from becoming the world's highest-paid athlete. Eto'o had attracted interest from Al-Ittihad, the team from Saudi Arabia that pulled off one of football's biggest-ever upsets by reversing a 3-1 deficit in the 2004 Asian Champions League final with a 5-0 away victory. They wanted to pay him 3.5 million pounds for a 10-day loan.
So let's say Eto'o managed to play for 200 days out of the year at that rate. That's a cool 70 million pounds - no problem for an oil sheikh, perhaps, but still far more than even Alex Rodriguez makes.
posted by Daniel Altman at 7:11 AM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
what I meant to say was:
I'm actually hoping that Milan manage to hijack any English moves for Ballack. As much as I do like Seedorf, I think a midfield trio of Gattuso, Peerless and Ballack would be rivalled only by Chelsea and possibly Barca.
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