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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

"We are now entering a new millennium and football's a completely different cup of tea."

TDH has a hodgepodge of news to report today. First, there could be three more Yanks in the Premier League next year with Marcus Hahnemann and Bobby Convey from Reading and, if Leeds win in Cardiff, Eddie Lewis making his return. We're also likely to see more of Tim Howard, who's been loaned to Everton by the Red Mist. It truly is a new millennium. TDH declares it the Millennium of American Soccer, unless we get bombed to heck by some terrorist idiot.

Speaking of the Championship playoff action, though, TDH notes that the 17th president of the United States of America couldn't score in a full 180 minutes against... Watford. This guy is preferred to Darren Bent and Marlon Harewood? Maybe he has that something-from-nothing magic Mara was talking about, but TDH has only really seen it from the penalty spot. (Ooooh, low blow, TDH knows it.)

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Either Harry Rednose or some hack at The Sun was inspired to wax poetic about a certain Master Walcott today. As reported second-hand by Soccernet, the jowly one said that Walcott "has so much ability and his pace is frightening." That puts Jersey Joe at 3 out of 8, with 1 being the most ridiculously speedy, on the vaunted Andy Gray Pace Scale.

In Harry's book, however, the only son of Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable is evidently a 1: "He is quicker than anyone else I have seen. Seriously, the boy glides over the park. If he walked across a puddle, he wouldn't make a splash."

Yes, perhaps the water-walking 17-year-old from Newbury will be England's messiah. Or he could just turn out to be a clever Chinese guy, like Chiun in "Remo Williams, the Adventure Begins." That guy could dodge bullets, but does anyone really know if he could latch onto a flicked header in the corner of the box, cut inside his defender and slot home at the far post?

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Finally, look for a late comment below as El Bofo leads Chivas into quarterfinal action against Velez in the Copa Libertadores. Who wants to bet whether Velez's enchiladas have been laced with rat poison? Let's hope they're not staying in a Marriott.

By the way, Mara, when El Bofo scores with his head, he just grabs the ball and brings it back to midfield. Not quite as much fun as with the boot, is it?

3 Comments:

Blogger The American Geordie said...

Okay, no result at the Jalisco. Nil-nil even with a full 90 from both El Bofo and Mauro Zarate, author of an incredible goal against Newell's in the last round. He beat two defenders on the corner of the box and then curled a powerful shot right onto the opposite corner of the goal frame, from where it ricocheted into the back of the net. That's history now, though. Back to Buenos Aires they go....

6:20 AM  
Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...

damn.
was kinda hoping he threw a hat into the crowd or something.

gotta work tonight, so might not watch the Pointless Cup Final.

6:23 PM  
Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...

Well, what I saw of that was boring as batshit. Who knew 4-0s could be characterised by such a lack of quality. Sevilla looked ok, but when your best player couldn't cut it at west brom, you've got problems.

Not as big as those of the team you're beating though.

Is it too late to go back and beg Felipao?

10:03 PM  

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