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Sunday, April 30, 2006

"They need to win more than us, but obviously we need to win just as much."

No one in the press seems to be knocking the Toon for
only drawing at St. Mary's. But let's face it, this was
not the result we needed. Now we have to hope that Next
Week's Blues play about as well as This Week's Blues, or
that they still have a hangover from their title
celebrations. Bolton have three games left, and it's
hard to imagine that they'll only come away with three

Not surprisingly, the Especially Self-Centered One
managed to claim all the attention for himself after the
Billionaire Blues clinched the title at the Bridge. Hey
Jose, it's fine to do that during the season, when you're
taking the pressure off your players. Now, though, don't
you think it's time to let them have the spotlight to
themselves? Okay, it might be the only thing Jose could
learn from Stevie Mac, but it's something.

As for all this hoodoo about having the worst job in the
world (thanks to all of Governor Abramovich's money) TDH
will personally cry The Especially Pitied One a river.
It's true, "Tuesdays With" Mourinho would be revered more
in England if he accomplished the same things he did at
Porto without an infusion of several hundred million
pounds. Yes, his life must be tough, especially now that
he has to buy yet another coat. Shucks.


No Rooney? No Owen? Well, whom would you pick? Tito,
Latoya, Jermaine is probably having wet dreams right
about now. TDH is betting Owen, at least, will be fit
for Germany. But let's say, for a moment, that there are
indeed three striking spots up for grabs.

To get some good variety in the setup, you'd keep Crouch,
take Defore and then add Bent and Harewood. Any
dissenters? Actually, if TDH was in a sufficiently wacky
mood, it would be tempting to play Stevie G as a second
striker behind Crouch. No one (except perhaps
Va-Va-Voom) is deadlier from the corners of box, as he
showed once again against O'Weary and hapless Ashcan


What is this, Curbs, a sort of pissing contest? TDH can
just see him seething behind that calm, bespectacled
facade. "So, you don't think I'd ever quit Charlton, eh,
Brian Barwick? Well, I'll show you, oh yes I will!"
Well, Alan, enjoy your retirement. If you're lucky,
someone will send you a ticket to the Euro 2008 final.


If you're Juliano Belletti, and you've just been gifted a
dummied ball by Giuly deep in the offensive half, and
you've proceeded to bounce a terrifyingly ugly cross
towards the center of the box, who is the person you most
want to see there waiting? Why, L'il Ron, of course!

Not only L'il Ron, but a wide-open L'il Ron who can
instantly volley the ball towards the roof of the Cadiz
goal, then wheel away in joy during the millisecond
between the time the ball leaves his foot and when it
crosses the six-yard line, and then - after the ball has
finally punched the nylon - point to you several times as
though you actually deserve all the credit. Lucky
Belletti. Lucky, lucky Belletti.


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