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Thursday, April 27, 2006

"And he's uncorked an absolute peach of a goal!"

That priceless bit of recent commentary, care of ESPN's
village idiot, unfortunately did not apply to today's
biggest match. We had two Champions League semi-final
ties and a total of two goals in them. The Barca v Milan
game did have plenty of attacking football in it, but one
had to ask the same question again: where were the Milan
wingmen?

Andrei "Maverick" Shevchenko and Sergio "Iceman" dos
Santos were probably out hunting MiG's for most of the 90
minutes, because they definitely weren't on the pitch at
the Camp Nou. And, to mix metaphors, when Shaqchenko
finally did get a swish, he was called for a charge in
the paint.

In the meantime, back in the skies above Catalonia,
Pippo's targeting system seemed to be off by about 45
degrees to the left. Costcurta filled in pretty well for
Nesta, but most of the time he looked like he'd rather be
smoking a cigarette back home at Just Cavalli.

For Barca, L'il Ron usually had to run against three
defenders at a time. Still, he managed to duplicate that
"Oh look, the ball's popped straight up into the air from
nowhere and, whoops, you're behind me!" move that he did
as a kid in the Joga Bonito commercial. 'Twas worth the
price of admission.

Anyway, it should be an enjoyable final, with two of the
most stylish teams in the world facing off.
(Incidentally, loyal readers, have you seen TH's
goal-from-behind-the-goal on the latest Joga Bonito spot?
He's a bloody physicist!) TDH's only fear is that The
Goon Show will continue playing what Adidas would
undoubtedly dub "Lehmann +10" football....

---

Yes, the uncorked peach of the day was on this continent.
The three-time South American footballer of the year
came back to the stadium of his old nemesis, Paper Plate,
and sidestepped two defenders before lashing in a
near-post opener so incredible that the soundtrack went
silent for a good five seconds. TDH's jaw was on the
carpet. Finally, Fox Sports' Fernando Niembro, color man
and undercover Peronist politician, managed to rasp out,
"Que jugador, mama mia, por Dios!" Carlitos definitely
belongs in TDH's World XI, oh yes, Mara....

Unfortunately, the Millonarios came back with a vengeance
(like TDH!). Carlitos, who had a good header wrongly
ruled out, and Mascherano, who was sent off for two
yellows in the 67th, couldn't do it by themselves; the
out-of-shape Corinthians defenders could actually be seen
huffing and puffing. Did TDH ever mention that River
Freight has an enormous, lit-up club badge on the
sideline at midfield? TDH definitely wants one for St.
James's Park - with the seahorses, of course.

A couple of hours away in Brazil, TDH's buddies on
Palmeiras managed a 1-1 draw in the first leg of their
Round of 16 match against Sao Paulo in the Copa
Libertadores. The goal by Sao Paulo's Aloisi was a
classic, though, threading the needle of defender and
keeper to beat poor Sergio, TDH's air terminal bus
friend.

Honestly, UEFA could take a page out of Conmebol's book
when it comes to big club tournaments. The Libertadores
often runs four nights a week, with domestic league
matches scheduled around it. If more European leagues
played on Friday nights, Champions League viewing time
could be extended into Monday at least!

---

TOMORROW: BIG PHIL!

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do Newcastle have Seahorses on their badge? Shouldn't it be Magpies? Or Pidgeons? Empty Brown Ale bottles? There's some abstract thinking going on amongst the Toon's badge designers (if their is such a job). I was always a fan of the early 80's cartoon script NUFC. Very cool.

9:43 AM  
Blogger The American Geordie said...

Hey, aren't you going to stick up for the geriatricos? Or are you still in denial?

1:55 PM  
Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...

hilariously, I was just about to post this:

utter bollocks that sheva's goal was disallowed. After that all sportsmanship went out the window for me. I was screaming for pippo to faint in the penalty box.

I'm not going to try and argue that the better side isn't going through, but that was a good goal. Had we scored it, the game would have changed completely.

2:20 PM  
Blogger The American Geordie said...

Yeah, I thought the Sheva goal should have stood, too. But, alas, guile counts for something in these matches. Did you see Lehmann cheating with the ball behind the goal line the other day? Should have been a Villareal corner.

As far as the Magpies' logo goes, well, er, it's a coastal town. There's an explanation of the badge here. You can compare it to the city's coat-of-arms here.

4:26 PM  

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