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Monday, February 13, 2006

"The manager could not even talk to us at the interval - he said we were bad."

TDH was a little bit footballed-out this weekend, but of course there was much to comment on. So, what was the top of the charts?

Was it Chelsea and Barcelona losing within a day of each other, probably for the last time in history? Was it Guus Hiddink saying he'd happily be a part-time England coach? No, it was Newcastle winning two matches on the trot! Hurrah!

Despite the celebrating, TDH found some time to peek into the locker rooms of a few big clubs. Here's what TDH heard - see if you can guess where.
"Okay lads, here's the deal. If we lose this game, I may never be England coach. And you know what, I heard Guus Hiddink say he doesn't like you, Stewie. So you lads better go out and win this one - I don't care if Jesus himself takes the pitch for Abramovich. Yeah, do it for Stewie, not for me...."

"I have an ingenious plan. First, I'm going to rest Claude and Joe. I'm going to play 4-4-2 with Carlton, ha ha! That referee-tampering arsehole Rijkaard will think we've gone soft. And then on Wednesday, with Didier back, we'll stick it to him...."

"I have an ingenious plan. First, I'm going to rest Deco and Lionel. I'm going to play 4-5-1 with Sam in midfield, ha ha! That earpiece-wearing arsehole Mourinho will think we've gone soft. And then on Wednesday, with Ronnie back, we'll stick it to him...."

"Excellent performance today, lads. I'm going to pass around Alan's groin protector, and you all put in some cash for Shay's beatification appeal. I'll send it off to the Vatican first thing, after I finish cleaning it. Won't be a minute, Alan...."

"Our Murphy's better than their Murphy! Our Murphy's better than their Murphy! Yeah!"
Oh, those rowdy Mackems. You'd think it was only their 10th point of the season or something. Meanwhile, back at Stamford Bridge, the Special One started to... sing. Oof. But hey, Saint Seamus of Gateshead - TDH likes the sound of that.


Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...

had a football free weekend - no internet at home and the tv conked out. however - Boro 3, Chelsea 0? unbelievable. when you say 'rest cole' I presume you mean that young joe didn't play the game?

still getting my head around this one... at least bolton held arsenal; not everything has changed...

6:02 AM  
Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...

YEE-HAW!!!! just went on to the milan site, and we're back in second place. its an awful season when this generates such glee in me, but I'm pleased.

pippo, the forward with no discernable skills apart from heading the ball, got another hat-trick. with his feet. and so edges even further ahead of the competition in terms of goals-per-game for Milan. Not even the mighty Gunnar Nordhal could match Superpippo.

6:21 AM  
Blogger DavidM said...


Sorry to leave this as a comment but I couldn’t find your contact details.

You may remember we contacted you a while ago about a football blog community we are setting up, asking if you or any of your readers would be interested in writing for us?

Well, I thought I’d let you know that we launched the website on Friday with 6 football fan weblogs initially.

The site is at and one of the weblogs covers Newcastle United (at so may be of interest to your readers.

I’d be grateful if you could let your readers know we have launched and that we are still looking for fans to write about other teams and football topics.



10:05 AM  
Blogger The American Geordie said...

Well, it looks like you've already let them know, DavidM! Anyway, TDH never received your inquiry. Want to write about Milan, Mara? Here's your chance.

2:31 PM  

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