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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

"It's thrown a spanner in the fire."

Once more TDH has cast a glance across the table. With just about 10 matches to go, the Magpies still find themselves within 10 points of the Champions League and 7 of the UEFA Cup. The latter goal may still be possible! Oh yes! At least, it's something worth fighting for. But the FA Cup looms....

...which brings us to the utterly ridiculous, pointless and unnecessary League Managers Association, whose made-up "Pro License" would rule Roeder and Shearer out of finishing the season as coaches. If the team, by some miracle, were to make the FA Cup final, who would be the coach?

The point is, we shouldn't even be asking this question. The club should be able to have whomever it wants as a coach, rather than kowtowing to some silly, rent-seeking regulation set up by an organization that's only interested in its own importance, with this idiot as its public face. F*ck 'em, says TDH. Take them to court for restraint of trade. Make 'em pay.

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ESPN helpfully informs us that 847 matches were played in World Cup qualifying, with about 2,500 goals scored. Seems a bit excessive, except when you realize than almost 200 teams were involved. In fact, given that the European and South Americans teams played about 10 matches apiece, it means that most teams only had a few chances to prove their mettle. Enough to separate the wheat from the chaff, or unjustly abrupt? There will always be some idiosyncrasies inherent here, and the quality of football in the finals will be the likely victim.

3 Comments:

Anonymous jonathan said...

I have here a secretly-recorded transcript of a hopeful candidate being put through his paces at the LMA testing centre in Lytham St Annes- it throws some light on the mystery of how you never hear of anyone failing the test:

'Put on this tracksuit. Yes, very good. Now pace up and down within this rectangular area, alternately muttering darkly to yourself, pointing, and shouting random footballers' names at the top of your voice. Yes, yes, that's all excellent. Right- very good. Congratulations- you are now a League Manager. Next!'

Rumours that Stuart Pearce failed the test four times because he kept running out of the rectangle and across the field, barking like a demented wolfhound and terrifying passing pensioners, are, my source informs me, wide of the mark.

1:22 PM  
Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...

pearce as England manager would be sheer genius. Can you imagine he and Rooney working each other into a frenzy?

the basic flaw with all of these qualifications is that they don't add anything. It's not like its weeded out the horrifically unsuitable candidates (step forward, Mr. McCarthy), nor have they ended the old-boys network in the top jobs. They're just bureaucracy.

2:49 PM  
Blogger The American Geordie said...

Yeah, maybe the young Gabriel Garcia Marquez just needs a manager who'll put him in fear for his life every time he enters the locker room. Mr. Angry certainly is Exhibit A, what with his penchant for inflicting career-threatening facial injuries (modeling careers, that is). Perhaps Psycho could also succeed where Sven has so obviously failed.

What I love about Psycho is the contrast between his on-pitch histrionics and the absolute placidity of his off-pitch interviews. You'd think he was talking about credit derivatives on Bloomberg Television.

And the LMA is more than just bureaucracy, it's like an ersatz trade union that serves no one but itself. Maybe back in 1992, when the LMA formed, some of these guys needed help negotiating their contracts. But now they all know that's what agents are for. The LMA just acts like a useless tax on the labor market.

My favorite bit about LMA: their slogan is "Football's Greatest Minds." Don't see any of them coming up with a suitcase-sized cold fusion generator, do you? I didn't think so....

5:35 PM  

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