"The one thing I didn't expect is the way we didn't play."

Curiouser and curiouser! Figuring out the implications of the pre-cup friendlies is like reading tea leaves. You never know whether the players are really trying, really running flat-out. In some cases, you don't even know if you'll ever see the players on the pitch in Germany.

For example, Horseface scored against a Cameroon that was missing only Eto'o. But has Van Basten's taste for Kuyt actually flown away, or does he really intend to start Mr. Ed alongside Batman's faithful sidekick? And Spain couldn't score against Russia with what could have been a full-strength side, depending on your taste in midfielders. TDH wouldn't have left Xabi Alonso, Iniesta and Xavi on the bench, but hey, you can't really knock Cesc and Louie G either. (Spain definitely has a lock on the smooth-passing midfielders, don't they? Too bad they'll get mowed down by anyone who weighs more than 80 kg.)

And moreover, can TDH simply ask why some friendlies are played at all? Does Germany really gain anything by clobbering Luxembourg 7-0? No serious player could take a morale boost from that. At the same time, you have to wonder why Portugal only won 4-1 against Cape Verde.

Meanwhile, it looks to be a rough road ahead for Dyn-o-mite! (That's TnT to you, loyal readers....) Going down to Wales in the soon-to-be-renamed Schwarzenegger Stadium on two Gobby Goals can't be a good sign.

On a happier note, the US put paid to the Bolivarian Circles 2-0, leaving their leader to fly to Bolivia, don some interesting headgear, and then badmouth our leader, or at least the leader of some 32 percent and dropping of us. Nice work if you can get it.