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Monday, July 03, 2006

WC2006: Faces only fans could love

It's the team you've all been waiting for: the TDH Ugly XI!

A few rules:
1. Must be a regular (so no to Ecuador's Jose Perlaza).
2. No more than one player from each team (so no to England's Hwayne Runny - see, TDH is already using the McClaren pronunciation!).
3. It has to be mostly the fault of the player and/or his genes (so no to France's accident-scarred Franck Ribery). Yes, if you earn hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, or more, you should really get a decent haircut and your teeth fixed.
4. Ugly personalities count (not that you needed the help, Luis...).

G: Tizie (CIV)

D: Neville (ENG), Tudor (CRO), Magnin (SUI), Loco (ANG)

M: Van Bommel (NED), Ronaldinho (BRA), Camoranesi (ITA)

F: Kezman (SCG), Koller (CZE), Tevez (ARG)

Coach: Aragones (ESP)

Gah! It'd be like playing against an army of orcs from the Lord of the Rings! Anybody missed out, loyal readers? Any mirrors left unbroken?


Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...


i think van bommel is slightly harsh, and I think there's room for the other Van in the squad, Seabiscuit. Shrek or Rio would get my vote ahead of 'tache, and Gerrardo Torrado could definitely get a look in.

Then lets not forget the hideously mishapen lump of flesh that constitutes Maniche/Lindsay Davenport/Resident of Long Royston

7:50 PM  
Blogger The American Geordie said...

Long Royston Maniche! Now, that's genius. The problem is, his photo doesn't actually look so bad. Iniesta, on the other hand, looks like one of those rats after Chernobyl.

Shrek's not in the tournament, man!

And if you swapped in Seabiscuit or Rio (who was in my thoughts), whom would you take out?

I can't believe we're having a serious discussion about this....

8:12 PM  
Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...

ah, but you see, my Shrek is Whine Hroney (I miss Svennis).

For me it's a straight holland for holland swap - Out with Van Bomm, in with Van Horse.

to be fair, they're both pretty ugly.

I'm doing a bad hair eleven, it's not finalised yet, but shoo-in starters include Loco (captain, gotta be done), Camauronesi (cut it off!), Torrado, Wilhelmsson of the rats tail, Cucho Cambiasso (shave it off!), and Rio.

will post the whole thing shortly...

8:49 PM  
Blogger The American Geordie said...

Then surely you need Rodrigo Palacio, he of the asymmetric mouse tail! And let us not forget Ballack's ridiculous center part! But will they all be playing in position? Van Bommel for Horseface doesn't really work that way....

10:12 PM  
Blogger the Maradona of Malawi said...

oh fuck. Oh FUCK. OH FUCK!

The prosecutor has asked for Milan to be relegated. If we cheated, we deserve it, but still... FUCK!

1:02 PM  

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